“He is not one of us who calls to tribalism. He is not one of us who fights for the sake of tribalism. He is not one of us who dies following the way of tribalism.”(Abi Dawud)

Introduction:

If you love traveling through different landmarks, countries and climates you are definitely going to be exposed to different cultures. If you are living in diverse society, where equality and equal opportunities are promoted then you are also accustomed with diversity of languages, cuisine, dress codes, attitudes, race, religion, and for most culture. What constitutes culture is outside the conscious capacity and personal will, we all are affected by its parameters and its implication on our personality, character, beliefs, behavioural choices, emotional processing and life aspirations. Culture also includes the material objects that are common to us as a group or society but for most can define us as a collective.

“And among His Signs is the creation of the heavens and the earth, and the difference of your languages and colours. Verily, in that are indeed signs for men of sound knowledge.” (Q;30:22)

The real problem occurs when we over identify ourselves through the lance of the culture and can’t see ourselves beyond its boundaries. The moment when our comfort zones and self-esteem are defined by the limits of our culture we simply stop growing and become what others want us to be. Prophet Muhammad ﷺ warned us against this stagnation and left his own culture as an inspiration to follow. This distinct us as Muslims from worshipers of prophets and saints, as we simply align ourselves with a tradition of the one who followed a straight path to God. However, this choice has psychological and especially developmental implications and consequences. Our Iman will of course increase, but also we are going to create our own and micro - ‘ Ummah’ culture which will most likely be estranged from the mainstream, and sometimes our blood family ways of life.

“We enjoined upon humanity to be good to his parents. His mother carried him in weakness upon weakness, and his weaning is in two years. Be grateful to Me and to your parents, for unto Me is the final destination. If they strive to make you associate with Me that for which you have no knowledge, do not obey them but still accompany in the world with good conduct”.  (Q, 31:14).  “Islam began as a something strange and it will return to being strange, so blessed are the strangers.”(Muslim)

The idea of basic needs to belong is as powerful a, true and old as psychology of human race itself, there is no wonder then that we are sometimes a blind followers of what potentially can bring us comfort and make us feel safe. However, being a strong believer, especially conscious and growing one, means the transcendence of own anxieties and insecurities. Being the best version of yourself simply means courage to stand for what is right in accordance with your religious system of values and morals. Prophet Muhammad ﷺ  talked about the adaptation to culture and used the term -  ‘asabiyyah’ as a synonym of psychological overidentification with culture and linage; and warned us from consequences of potential religious and spiritual pathologies.

“He is not one of us who calls to tribalism. He is not one of us who fights for the sake of tribalism. He is not one of us who dies following the way of tribalism.”(Abi Dawud)

The ‘asabiyyah’ (tribalism) refers to the feeling that one’s tribe (or any other social solidarity or grouping – the clan, nation, region, ethnicity, race, etc.) is superior to another or to all others.  We had been also warned from consequence and baring effect of ‘asabiyyah’ on our moral and spiritual intelligences. The pathologized consequence of unconscious alliance with culture might create in or personality tendencies to immoralities, counterproductive habits and diseases of the spiritual heart such as disparaging, backbiting, looking down on other creation of Allah swt. The nationalistic tendencies, racism, xenophobia, supremacism, prejudice, bigotry, discrimination or violence are just another shades of inferiority and ‘asabiyyah’ narratives affecting human societies in modern times, and this is the reason why we had been advised: “Leave it, it is rotten".

The diversity in creation has its merits and psychologically prompts us to Taffakur and further work on ourselves. The tribalism therefore is the opposite spectrum of the human potential to acceptance of multi-coloured and raced reality of this world. The latest, can lead you to most sustainable and self-developing journey of Islam, where you can discover yourself  simply through the lens of differences between you and your brothers in humanity

 “O Mankind, We created you from a single (pair) of a male and a female and made you into nations and tribes, that you may know each other. Verily the most honored of you in the sight of Allah is he who is the most righteous (taqwah) of you.” (Q; 49:13).

The differences between us should also create in us a humbleness and motivate us to worship Allah swt in more effective way. One of the signs of becoming a better version of our selves is the increasing feeling of acceptance of our own culture deficiencies and seeing it for its traps. We become acutely aware that all this time we were subjected to misleading information which kept us away from the straight path and were potentially distancing us for the psychological message of Quran. Thanks to merits of this realisation, we are finding ourselves on new path of refining our Lifestyle. We commit to conscious holistic changes so much so and that our food choices will alligned more with sunnah cuisine, our wardrobe will become more aura covering, our yearly celebration will reduce to two Eids only, our Ramadan will become platform for Jihadulnafs instead of feasting, our prayers will be for our salvation rather than a chore, conversational choices will become dawah oriented rather than arrogance centred, etc.

"Behold, Allah has removed from you the arrogance of pagan ignorance (jahiliyyah) with its boasts of ancestral glories. Man is but a God-conscious believer or an unfortunate sinner. All people are children of Adam, and Adam was created out of dust."(Abu Dawud)

Secondly, on the journey of de-tribalism we are going to start categorising people in our lives diffidently, as we are becoming more skilled in seeing them beyond the obvious, meaning, shapes, colours, titles and linage. What is happening to our own psychology is the distinct shift of interest, pushing us to commit to our spiritual needs to connect with our soul mates, who are to share the same believes, values and vision for life. We will also soon recognise those who feel, think, behave and are alike us for much more befitting our time and energy than those who are still holding on to ‘asabiyyah’ mind set. Another sign of being a person of growth in Islam, is the sharpened vision about our own personal faults as well as ability to humble ourselves. We will become distant to our own being and at the same time acutely aware of lost chances we had in life (to become better), and how fragile we are in the eyes of God.

“Undoubtedly Allah has removed from you the pride of arrogance of the age of Jahilliyah (ignorance) and the glorification of ancestors. Now people are of two kinds. Either believers who are aware or transgressors who do wrong. You are all the children of Adam and Adam was made of clay. People should give up their pride in nations because that is a coal from the coals of Hell-fire. If they do not give this up Allah (swt) will consider them lower than the lowly worm which pushes itself through Khara (dung).” [Abu Dawud and Tirmidhi)

Start your own healing Journey with AJ!

Here is a quick checklist to get you started with free therapy session. Remember imperfect action beats inaction, get started and keep re investing in your growth for Khair!

• Create your vision board

• Reflect on things which you know Must Go in order for your life to change

• Start planning your therapy sessions topics by Identifying what resonates with your Heart.

• Create an outline the list of your Eternal Life goals.

• Write down the conversations you normally have with your self, like if you were telling a story to a friend

• Pick the most disturbing sentences and connect them with emotions you feeling when you hear them

• Perform several Ibadah types consciously (taddabur, dua, prayers, sadaka, fasting) and Honestly reflect on what is it you experiencing and what is it that you were hoping to experience

• Write down reasons why some of your relationships broke down and be clear on your ways about it as well

• Have a courage to name things you appreciate about your self, or are proud of - or ask you family and friends to remind you

• Take 10 minutes to edit your list and BOOK A CALL WITH AJ !