“Islam began as a something strange and it will return to being strange, so blessed are the strangers.” (Muslim)

Introduction:

The path of evolving Muslim is  not only difficult in a spiritual sense but also filled with social and relationship challenges. As much as you might find your self enjoying or even loving the revival of Halawat ul Iman (sweetness of the faith) the reality is that you pay a price for it and need to sooner or later face the consequences of it. You might find your self isolated and upset with the fact that you no longer can connect to your old friends or even member of the family.

If you living in the west or liberal Muslim community you will also experience a degree of isolation or even spiritual alienation. The feelings of loneliness, social exclusion, relationships disappointment can be terrifying and make you question your self-developmental journey from the psycho and spiritual perspective in Islam. You might even start asking yourself questions ‘what it worth it’. It might feel like saying ‘ if that is the spiritual enlightenment , then I don’t want it any more’.

Unfortunately, unplugging your self from the matrix of Dunya is never easy, pain-free or surrounded by loving and supportive environment of people who are your soul tribe. This experience of spiritual pain has one aim – it is here to raise you not create second-guessing or self-doubting. The chances are that you knew that already from Quran and Sunnah - but did not realise that you will have to travel through this disillusionment by yourself. “Islam began as a something strange and it will return to being strange, so blessed are the strangers.” (Muslim)

The position of a spiritually developed Muslim in this world, is described as Ghuraba . الغرباء‏, and it literally translates into stranger or weird or foreigner. This leads to deeper reflection on your ability to live this life as a minority, as a group of less among the majority of whom are sharing different (than yours) believe systems , aspirations ,dreams, values, morals and ethics. This phenomena gives a beginning to inner retrospection about how strongly rooted are you in yours, and how well you now your Islamic heritage, how deeply you understand what your Creator likes and dislikes (shariya), how clear and transparent your understanding of Aqida is.

Being a foreigner in the land of diversity, difference and sometimes unfamiliarity to your path of life can be doubting, however it is never a case of invitation to subdued to the power of many. Once you received a guidance to the Truth it was your choice to take upon yourself a conquest of investigation, researching and understanding. It was then when your life has changed, and never reversed. Once you heard and seen the evidence of the Truth about your self and this world, it becomes too late for nostalgia because  you have already changed. The question however is this – are you strong enough to carry the torch of Light and skilled enough to give it's Haq ( rights).

We all struggle with self-esteem, self-identity and self-respect in life. Those aspects of our growth can be under serious threat if you are surrounding yourself with the wrong impressions, influence, exposures and pressures. “They are righteous people amongst many people who are evil, and those who obey them are few as compared to those who disobey them.”(Muslim) “And if you obey most of those in the earth, they will lead you astray from Allah's way; they follow but conjecture and they only lie. (Quran, 6:116)

The best of knowledge is the Ilm ul Qalb, meaning the ability too look inside peoples spiritual hearts and see if they are worthy of your company. With this knowledge you will be in best position to  understand if they share same soul values, calculate if they are investing their development and nourish Sunnah virtutes such as  compassion, humbleness and ability to discern good from evil. “Then your hearts became hardened after that, being like stones or even harder. For indeed, there are stones from which rivers burst forth, and there are some of them that split open and water comes out, and there are some of them that fall down for fear of Allah . And Allah is not unaware of what you do.”’(Quran, 2:74)

The inners – spiritual state of human being , (accordingly to Islamic Psychology) commence at Qalb level. The ability to spiritually reconnect with our spiritual Hearts creates transformative changes in  our mind sets as well as behaviours, character building (Adab) and the way we conduct manners  (Ahlaq) . Once you going through such prefund spiritual changes you need to remember about support system. Instead of comparing yourself with majority, start matching your environment with your level of growth. “The example of the believers, in their mutual love and mercy for one another is like the example of one body, if one part feels pain, then all of the body suffers in sleeplessness and fever.”(Muslim) The believer to the believer is like a solid building, one part supporting the other.(Muslim)

Quran has already psychoanalysed paths of spiritual development so we know what to expect from humankind on their path of submission to the Truth. We know that there are only few spiritual choices available for human race, and those include Believer (Mu’min), Idolater (Mushrik), Disbeliever / Rejector (Kafir) and Hypocrite (Munafiq). Your job is to carefully observe your social surrounding and understand what is going on spiritually with peoples hearts, where are they taking their Nafs and life to.

Idolaters will appear to you as not aware of God and not aware of themselves. When you will have conversations with them it will seem that they truly believe that they need an arbitrator between themselves and God, because they are feeling unworthy. However, your attempts to connect them to Fitrah or simply connect with them most likely will be unsuccessful because “And most of the people, even if you are diligent, will not believe.” (Quran, 12:103)

Disbelievers will know exactly what your values, world views and priorities are, however they will purposefully reject it. It is a form of inner denial on spiritual level. “As for the Disbelievers, whether you warn them or you warn them not it is all one for them; they believe not. God has sealed their hearing and their hearts, and on their eyes there is a covering.” (Quran, 2:6–7).

Hypocrisy in peoples heart is recognised by compulsory lies in speech but also deceptive behaviours. “When the hypocrites come to you, [O Muhammad], they say, “We testify that you are the Messenger of God.” And God knows that you are His Messenger, and God testifies that the hypocrites are liars”. (Quran, 63:1) It is difficult to see them through however, until they make visible mistakes. “Among the signs of a hypocrite are three, even if he fasts and prays and claims to be a Muslim: when he speaks he lies, when he gives a promise he breaks it, and when he is trusted he betrays.”(Muslim).

What will help you in those disheartening situations is the firm understanding that Allah swt lovers you, otherwise you would not been driven to the Truth. “To whomever Allah wills goodness, He grants him understanding of the religion.”(Bukhari). However, your responsibility in relation to this is to maintain your relationship with God and nourish the platform for your growth by protecting your Nafs (Soul) from psycho-spiritual contamination. “O you who have believed, take not those who have taken your religion in ridicule and amusement among the ones who were given the Scripture before you nor the disbelievers as allies. And fear God, if you should [truly] be believers”. (Quran, 5:57)

You want to understand the fragility of time which is given to you in this Dunya and surround your self with inspirations not depravations. You want to keep your eyes focused on a price – meaning your journey and style of coming back to your Lord. “And (remember) the Day when the wrong-doer (oppressor, polytheist etc.) will bite on his hand, he will say: ‘Oh!  Would that I had taken a path with the Messenger.  Ah!  Woe to me!  Would that I had never taken so-and-so as a friend!  He indeed led me astray from the Reminder (the Quran) after it had come to me.’” (Quran 25:27). From that perspective becoming Ghuraba is blessing, as it teaches you how to effectively utilise your time, energy, relationships, health and any other forms of  Rizq. Now you know how estrangement from this World can become an invitation to the next step on your spiritual closeness with you Lord.

Start your own healing Journey with AJ!

Here is a quick checklist to get you started with free therapy session. Remember imperfect action beats inaction, get started and keep re investing in your growth for Khair!

• Create your vision board

• Reflect on things which you know Must Go in order for your life to change

• Start planning your therapy sessions topics by Identifying what resonates with your Heart.

• Create an outline the list of your Eternal Life goals.

• Write down the conversations you normally have with your self, like if you were telling a story to a friend

• Pick the most disturbing sentences and connect them with emotions you feeling when you hear them

• Perform several Ibadah types consciously (taddabur, dua, prayers, sadaka, fasting) and Honestly reflect on what is it you experiencing and what is it that you were hoping to experience

• Write down reasons why some of your relationships broke down and be clear on your ways about it as well

• Have a courage to name things you appreciate about your self, or are proud of - or ask you family and friends to remind you

• Take 10 minutes to edit your list and BOOK A CALL WITH AJ !