“When something bad happens to people they cry to their Lord and turn to Him for help but no sooner” (Quran 30:33)

Introduction:

Forgiveness does not mean forgetfulness. Forgiveness constitutes one of many elements in the healing from a wounded memory, but it does not erase it. It is unrealistic expectation to think that we will forget hurt , disappointment,  violation from others and resentments towards another person. However in order to grow stronger and firmer in the spirit of personal freedom and autonomy you should consider letting it go. The process of forgiveness might seem impossible to begin with , especially when we are self-centred and pain orientated, we feel victimised and for most ask our self a pressing question: why me? “When something bad happens to people they cry to their Lord and turn to Him for help but no sooner” (Quran 30:33)

Outside the individual approach there is overarching concept of pre-destiny, which holds all carefully and divinely designed experiences for your attention only. You cannot stop preordained Godly plan, neither can you deny that it is the best of strategy that could ever exist. “The Lord has created and balanced all things and has fixed their destinies and guided them”. (Qur’an 87:2) It is only yours and yours to hold, cherish and learn from it. No-one else in the entire universe has similar life script in their hands, only you. Your only job is to make sure that your actions and intentions will give it a justice. You could also remind your self that your only uniqueness in this realm of life lies in the fact that you have always a chance o come back to your Lord in the purity of your heart, (before he takes your soul away into Barzak). “There is not one amongst you who has not been allotted his seat in Paradise or Hell. They said: Allah’s messenger, then why should we perform good deeds, why not depend upon our destiny? Thereupon he said, ‘no, do perform good deeds, for everyone is facilitated in that for which he has been created2’ ” (Muslim)

Daily reminders about Day of Judgment and meeting your Lord in all his glory should  bring perspective to worldly negative experiences. The ultimate reality is that , you will inshallah face the الحق  Al Haqq (the Truth) who know you more than yourself and planned your life in order for you to become a better version of yourself.  You will meet inshallah  العظيم Al Adheem (the Supreme) and you will finally understand that everything you were going through was minor, insignificant and irrelevant in face of His (swt) Glory. You will meet inshallah الحكم Al Hakam ( the Judge) who already knows what your duas were or are at the times of oppression, and you will witness inshallah the absolute and divine justice committed upon every oppressor who ever lived.

Knowing that, you should not only feel reassured but for most scared that you also might be one who had committed injustice. Perhaps it is time to incorporate Iftikhar and duas for the sake of your own salvation now? “O people! Ask for the forgiveness of Allah and repent to Him as I ask for the forgiveness of Allah and repent to Him one hundred times a day.” It is only human of you to be Imperfect and prone to mistakes, unconscious evil or sometimes conscious malice.  Owning your drawbacks could possibly enable you to emphasise with others. “By the One in whose hand is my soul, if you did not sin, Allah would replace you with people who would sin, and they would seek forgiveness from Allah and He would forgive them” (Muslim). Opening up to the reality that you carry the same potential to press just like those who violated you might  experience a shift in your heart…and begin to feel sorry for them and give excuses. Perhaps they don’t know what you do, maybe they refuse to tap into Divine Wisdom, maybe this transcendent awareness is not even prescribed for them….But it is for you. You know now. What will you do about it?

Thinking about the soul and spiritual heart takes a lot of effort and self-restrains, however without those very efforts you are depriving your self of a chance to  truly See. Seeing the truth of your own intentions is as liberating as seeing it in others. The science of Nafsiyat and Taskiya are the most powerful of tools . Thanks to self-honesty you can own your own humanity in committing same injustices which were done unto you. I invite you to daily cleansing your heart from resentments, anger, envy or hatred towards others. These and many other diseases of the heart are your very ’road block’ . Yet your path could be much smoother. You could be inspired by enculturating story from the tradition of hadiths, is pf Abdula ibn Amr who followed and studied life a person of paradise only to hear this advice: “I am as you have seen, except that I do not find dishonesty in my soul towards the Muslims and I do not envy anyone because of the good that Allah has given them.” (Ahmad).

Lastly, remembering the benefits of forgiveness could bring plenty Sakina (Peace) into your heart. Positive psychology comes wiht plenty resources to the rescue, and guarantees better relationships, decreased in depression and anxieties,  improved health such as decrease in cardiovascular issues or nicotine dependency, self-development and increased religiosity. Science describes this process as a decision making phenomena, whereby you actively and consciously making an effort to change your emotions. In that sense forgiveness becomes an act of a free will, a conscious effort of not taking revenge or avoiding it. You therefore, (as a human) truly have the potential to act as if the past mistakes did not occur, and you can further and heroically seek reconciliations. The story of prophet Yusuf is the primary example of the human ability to forgive, not forget but rather to give another chance to relationships. “Do you know what you did with Yusuf and his brother when you were ignorant? …There is no blame on you today. May Allah (swt) forgive you! He is the Most Merciful of the merciful!“ (Qur’an, 12:82, 92).  The Quranic narratives and tradition of the prophet (ﷺ) mention that forgiveness might even be your pathway to salvation. “Whoever suffers an injury and forgives (the person responsible), God will raise his status to a higher degree and remove one of his sins” (Tirmidhi). “I swear by Allah that I seek Allah’s Pardon and turn to Him in repentance more than seventy times a day”  (Bukhari). “Let evil be rewarded with evil. But whosoever forgives and seeks reconcilement shall be recompensed by Allah” (Quran, 42:40). ” “If you do good openly or keep it secret, or forgive evil! Allah is forgiving, powerful.” (Quran, 4:149) .

Start your own healing Journey with AJ!

Here is a quick checklist to get you started with free therapy session. Remember imperfect action beats inaction, get started and keep re investing in your growth for Khair!

• Create your vision board

• Reflect on things which you know Must Go in order for your life to change

• Start planning your therapy sessions topics by Identifying what resonates with your Heart.

• Create an outline the list of your Eternal Life goals.

• Write down the conversations you normally have with your self, like if you were telling a story to a friend

• Pick the most disturbing sentences and connect them with emotions you feeling when you hear them

• Perform several Ibadah types consciously (taddabur, dua, prayers, sadaka, fasting) and Honestly reflect on what is it you experiencing and what is it that you were hoping to experience

• Write down reasons why some of your relationships broke down and be clear on your ways about it as well

• Have a courage to name things you appreciate about your self, or are proud of - or ask you family and friends to remind you

• Take 10 minutes to edit your list and BOOK A CALL WITH AJ !